Video Games, Fun & Learning: How Parents Can Help Their Children Enjoy Gaming Responsibly

Video games can be a fun way for kids to develop different skills, but it's important for parents to monitor their children's gaming habits. In my work, video games come up a lot with kids and families. Often, talking about gaming is a way for me to build rapport with new clients as I have historically been a gamer and typically have found video games to be an enriching experience, personally. Given my personal and work experience I wanted to share my insight into how I think gaming should be introduced, monitored, and discussed with kids. Here are some guidelines on when it might be appropriate for your child to start playing video games as well as general tips for if your kid already is gaming:

1. Impulse Control and Temperament: If gaming has not been introducecd, before doing so, consider your child's impulse control and temperament. If they have difficulty transitioning from one activity to another or become easily frustrated when things don't go their way, it may be a sign that they are not ready for video games. For example, observe how your child typically handles transitions between activities like TV time and or having to move toward bath/shower time. If they struggle with these transitions, it could be indicative of a similar response when playing video games. This is by no means to say you should not let your child play games, but it may be important to read some of the following points to support a plan if your child struggles with transitions. I will do a future post that will evaluate various types of games and how they can impact kids differently. 

   
   

2. Purpose of Gaming: Consider the purpose that video games will serve for your child. Are they a tool for learning new skills in math or science, hand eye coordination/reflexes, or strategy? Are games a way to play together with your kids, build a positive connection and have fun? Understanding this can help you decide why it's appropriate to introduce gaming into their lives and the types of games that may be appropriate. If your purpose is to have a break and allow your child to be engaged in something while you do something else, make sure you are reviewing what games they want to play (again, a future post will be on this topic). 

   
   

3. Time Management: Consider if video game play may take away from other activities like outdoor play with siblings or peers. Make sure that gaming doesn't become the only way your child interacts with others. Talk with your child around what an appropriate amount of game time would be for them and you and what other activities outside of gaming need to be prioritized. It is typical for pre-teen kiddos to want to mostly interact online with their friends, but having limits around usage and encouraging outdoor play may be helpful.

   
   

4. Home expectations: It may be supportive to implement a home system around how much time is allotted for video games and constructing incentives (i.e., extra game time) for positive behaviors that can earn additional gaming time. This can help teach your child about responsibility,  self-regulation, and impulse control. Maybe you would prefer your child to get most of their school work, outside activities, or other responsibilities completed first and will reward this with more free time to use for gaming. Many strategies and structures to a plan can be supportive for kids based on their personality and preferences. For younger kids this may also include not being able to play unless a parent is with you.

   
   

5. Maintain a dialogue: Including your child in creating the home expectations and system  can also be helpful in allowing your child to feel a part of the process and not simply being told what to do. This can ensure that they understand why these rules are in place as well. They may have feedback and ideas that are not going to fly in your household, but by listening and engaging and allowing them to be a part of the process can increase how much they follow these rules.

   
   

6. Modeling Behavior: As a parent, it's important that you model healthy screen use habits for your children. If you want them to engage in other activities besides gaming, make sure you do the same. When possible, spend time with your kiddo without video games or screens playing a board game, going for a walk, or any other interest you both share. 

Video games can be an enjoyable part of a child's life if introduced appropriately and managed well by parents. By understanding your child's developmental stage, temperament, and individual needs, you can help them have fun with video games while also teaching important skills like self-regulation, responsibility, and communication.

If you have any questions or seek further information, don’t hesitate to reach me at ryangogartytherapy@gmail.com or by phone, 925-335-6778.

Thank you for reading! Explore more about my therapy approach on Psychology Today.