It's the Relationship - Helping Adolescents and Teens in benefitting from therapy

I lean heavily on the therapeutic relationship when working with adolescents and teens. What this means is that I rely on building connection first before moving to the helping part of therapy. Kids and teenagers usually can struggle to feel comfortable in therapy initially. This is potentially due to fears around privacy, (what are you going to tell my parents?) and more commonly never before having the space to think through their problems at a deeper level with someone they do not know very well. This can be an intimidating experience and one that takes having a therapist with the ability to sit through this process as they become comfortable and genuinely take an interest in them and what matters to them. 

Most of the clients that I have worked with that make the most progress are clients that share an interest where I encourage them to try and teach me or coach me more about the subject. Whether this is baseball or other sports, video games, or other hobbies(i.e. Movies, shows, or constructing things out of cardboard, Pokemon, you name it), I try my best to understand their world. I enjoy video games and genuinely like to hear about the developments of certain games!

I have found that the more I am able to understand my client, who they are, and what they care about, they begin to feel comfortable in examining more deeply about what has brought them to therapy. This process can take time, and allowing for them to have more control and feel safe in the session is vital. 

Over time, trust is built and I’ve seen clients begin to push themselves and be able to share, or become more comfortable with tolerating and sitting with in session things they are struggling with and their difficult emotions. Some of these struggles may be social anxiety, self-esteem, confidence and a lot of the clients I work with often do not come in with the language skills to communicate verbally what they are experiencing as I mentioned above.

I truly believe having this trust is essential in inviting clients to become part of the process of therapy and be able to try to find and work on what it is they want to change. Having someone that can sit with them during this time, provide language for their emotions and experiences, and stay with them as they learn to express themselves more effectively is crucial. 

If you have any questions or seek further information, don’t hesitate to reach me at ryangogartytherapy@gmail.com or by phone, 925-335-6778.

Thank you for reading! Explore more about my therapy approach on Psychology Today.